Putney Bridge Jogger

Maria Arpa

16 August 2017

Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness Moments

If you have been following the news story about the man who pushed a woman out of his own path and into the oncoming traffic then like me it may have presented you with a number of questions. One can only speculate as to what was going on in the jogger’s mind or life at the time of the incident, and what story is playing out in his mind now that it’s a few months down the line and he is world news.
If you had the opportunity to open a dialogue what would you say to this man? This is what I would like to say to him.

When I watch the footage of you on the bridge that day I feel shocked by your actions. I am also curious about what was going on in your mind. From the footage, I’m guessing you have seen it or at least know about the publicity, it looks as though there was more than enough room for you both to pass safely, but you chose to physically remove the woman from your path. I can probably stretch to an understanding that in the moment you just kept going because you were so focused on what you were doing. Didn’t you realise that she had fallen to the ground?

What were the factors that stopped you from coming forward immediately afterwards and taking ownership of the situation? Given that this occurred in May, how have your actions affected your daily life since then? Do you acknowledge the impact that your actions had not only the woman but the bus driver, the passengers on the bus, other passers by and everyone who has since watched the CCTV footage?

Perhaps you feel a level of shame, maybe you have a public profile, or is there something at stake so great, that it is preventing you from coming forward and taking responsibility? I can only imagine the underlying stress that you might be feeling waiting to be caught or hoping that you aren’t. No doubt at some point the criminal justice system will kick-in and will result in you facing whatever is thrown at you under the scrutiny of the public eye. I can only imagine the humility you might feel and yet this is not satisfactory on its own.

I’m wondering do you have the courage to come forward of your own accord? Would you offer to repair the injury, loss and harm caused by your actions just because that would be the decent thing to do and not merely as a result of being caught?

If you had the opportunity to speak to him, what would you say?

With love, light and gratitude. Maria Arpa -x-

Sharing is caring…

Find us on social media:

Join our community!

Volunteer in our charity shop here

Donate to us here

For more information on Giraffe Ears Day, email us at [email protected]

4 Comments

Neil Jackson
Posted 7 years ago Reply

I won’t let him off being absorbed in what he was doing. It looks like he deliberately veers into the woman. He also doesn’t push the man. Every now and then you see behaviour of such stupidity that there seems no explanation. The woman who put the cat in the wheelie bin is one example. With what we do in mediation can we find any empathy in their actions. No. They need to explain their actions before anyone feel anything for them.

And allow me a rant. Cyclists on the canal towpath who either don’t ring their bells; who ring their bells when they are a foot away from the pedestrian they wish to pass; and those cyclists who never say thankyou when you leap out the way of them.

Healthy people can be very self obssessed.
- Maria Arpa
  Posted 7 years ago Reply
  
  Hi Neil, thanks for this contribution. I don’t think we could use mediation for an incident like this. If the guy is ‘caught’ or decides to own up, I would want to use a process similar to Dominic Barter’s Restorative Circles. In this process the starting point is a clear ‘author’ of injury, loss or harm and a clear recipient of that injury, loss or harm and others who are impacted. The Restorative Circle aim is to get to a timed, measurable and do-able action plan that clearly demonstrates the kinds of values that are important like safety, justice etc. Your comment about cyclists on the canal towpath is an example of how life can be in these times: people perusing personal goals while seeing other people as objects in their way.
Lois
Posted 7 years ago Reply

Interesting article Maria. I’m not sure exactly what I would say, I’d perhaps like to hear a little more about what he had to say first so I may start with something really simple like ‘can you tell me what happened’. I suspect there was some form of transference going on, perhaps he was upset with his own partner, exparner , mum or daughter something like that x
- Maria Arpa
  Posted 7 years ago Reply
  
  Thanks for your comment. I see that it is generally best to start a conversation with something simple such as you suggest. Your speculation about transference is also interesting. We could ask the question, “Has any woman in your life, got in your way and prevented you from achieving a goal?”