Maria Arpa
This week
I’ve been trying to put this into words for years…
Plus…
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
and
the Wednesday Whisper
Be careful what you tolerate because you are teaching people how to treat you
I’m watching a show where the boss is calling people out in a demeaning and egotistical way and I wonder why no one stands up, says that they are unwilling to tolerate it and leaves? So the question that arises for me is, ‘how much crap will each of us put up with before it becomes untenable?’ And here lies the lesson. If you continuously put up with crap from another person, no matter how much you protest, by remaining in the situation, you are actually consenting to more crap.
So when a woman tells me that she has been in a violent relationship for years and has been physically or mentally abused, I usually ask, ‘What has kept you there?’. I get a variety of valid answers but they all boil down to the same thing. Not understanding her own worth. I always love the lightbulb moment when the victim sees how they have inadvertently consented to the behaviour.
Being clear about the limits of our tolerances while aslo being clear about how you will act and then communicating this with compassion and assertiveness is a big part of how the Dialogue Road Map works.
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
I’m not ashamed to say that I can be crystal clear about the limits of my tolerances and my utter refusal to do martyrdom.
The Wednesday Whisper
What crap have you been putting up with? And what will you do about it?
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