Maria Arpa
This week
Manipulation and Power
Plus…
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
and
The Wednesday Whisper
Abuse
Many of us have been intrigued by the story of Anna Delvey, the young woman who built a fantasy life as a German heiress and persuaded others, who some might say should have known better, to join in. We look at the story in disbelief and wonder how so many people were taken in.
The story shows us how easy it is to become spellbound by a personality and how easy it is for that person to abuse the trust. Of all the scams pulled by Delvey, the one where she landed her friend with a $60k credit card debt was highly abusive.
Reading an account from her friend, this summary named the problem in one sentence:
“There are a lot of things about her then that I rationalised, dismissed or chose to give her the benefit of the doubt over. In ways that felt small, but they added up to her having power over me”
And this is the point, when we sidestep the red flags and fall in love with the potential, we leave ourselves wide open to abuse.
Red flags are important moments for consideration. Being unable to initiate or facilitate a conversation about those red flags is where the problems start.
Maria’s Mindfulness Moment
In all the work I have done with relationships, the person receiving the abuse can always point to incidents or conversations that felt strange at the time but they overlooked in the search for connection. And I have not been immune to overlooking red flags for which I paid a price in the past. Now, however I live my life more consciously.
The Wednesday Whisper
Do you have any red flags that you are avoiding?
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