Maria Arpa
This week
Getting unstuck
Plus…
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
and
The Wednesday Whisper
Letting go of attachments
When I find myself wound up, I have developed a practice of asking myself what I am attached to. This reflection helps me pinpoint the story I tell myself of what could happen if the world doesn’t work the way I would like it to.
Attachments can be how we would like someone to be, as opposed to who they are being, or attachment to an outcome, and peddling hard to achieve the outcome instead of allowing things to unfold and witnessing the journey. When we struggle, we are leading life according to a picture we are addicted to, while resisting other pictures that may hold more truth or richness.
The answer to dealing with attachments is letting go of them which is, of course, easier said than done. Letting go requires trust. Trust that when other things unfold we still have all of our wisdom, discretion and experience to draw on. Trust that worrying and struggling will not change what was going to happen, especially when we do not have control over the situation and our options are reduced by the circumstances.
First, it is useful to identify the attachment and the fear behind it… ‘if John doesn’t do X then I will resort to Y and that means I will lose Z. Therefore I must get John to do X’ The problem is that while it may be possible to get superficial compliance, we can never really know whether John acted out of willingness or resentment. And this reduces our ability to trust.
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
Finding out the basis of our attachments requires us to examine stories and patterns in our lives that may even be intergenerational. The DRM takes us down the layers and opens our awareness using compassionate challenge. When I find myself stressing, first, I notice and relax any tension in my body, then I ask myself what it is I am attached to, then I get in touch with what it feels like to let it drift away. As with any change of habit, practice makes perfect.
The Wednesday Whisper
What are you attached to right now? Does it serve you to be attached? Can you feel any tension? Are you resistant to letting go?
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