Maria Arpa
This week
Choosing Silence
Plus…
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
and
The Wednesday Whisper
Instead of speaking up
This week I had a very particular topic in mind, and as I was scoping the topic out in my mind, I imagined how many ways what I wanted to say could be deliberately misinterpreted and politicised so I made a choice to not bother.
It’s happened twice before in the 13 years I have written the blog that I had not realised how what I wrote could be taken out of context and the replies were harsh to say the least. In one case the offended party was intent on to having me, the charity and our charity shops ‘cancelled’. What I did in response was show genuine curiosity and compassion with an intention to learn and understand, then, only when their ‘representative’ trusted I understood their point fully and without defence, I asked the person to reread the blog and show me where the words I used matched the allegation. And finally by a lengthy process did the ‘representative’ admit that the words I used did not say what had been interpreted.
Given that the blog is something I write from the heart and meant as a gift, I make a choice to limit the scope of what I am prepared to put out in the world because spending days explaining myself to people who are making interpretations is not a good use of the resources I have at my disposal.
I do believe there is something lost when we are not safe to express ourselves. BUT, expressing ourselves is not vomiting over others and then putting up a wall. Expressing ourselves brings an implicit responsibility to enter a dialogue (not debate) of mutual understanding. To disagree well. We choose what is safe, what is a waste of resources and what could make a positive contribution. We measure the risk.
I also understand that for many people the power imbalances always render it unsafe. This is where civil disobedience is a necessary part of a democracy but that’s a whole other topic.
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
The DRM supports us to make best use of our resources, use our powers of discretion and open a dialogue when needed.
The Wednesday Whisper
Are there things you wish you could say? Have you made a conscious choice to speak up or suppress yourself?
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