Maria Arpa
Alice, Shavonne and Debra were in secondary school Year 10. They had been very good friends but, for some reason, which none of them could remember, had fallen out with each other a year prior. The school had tried to intervene. Teachers had done their best to help but the girls began making accusations and allegations against each other which triggered anti-bullying procedures.
The parents became involved insisting that the other girls were removed from the school. The girls’ positions polarised and each day there were incidents at school which invoked disciplinary measures.
By the time we were asked to intervene, the situation had escalated to the point where no one believed there was any remedy.
I met the girls individually and allowed them to tell their story uninterrupted and without conducting an investigation. I helped them to identify their feelings and the sense of loss at how everything had turned out. I asked about their willingness to meet with the other girls for a mediation session and they all agreed.
By the time I came back to carry out the session, they had made an approach to each other to end the conflict between them. Our meeting was just a way of formally ending the argument and agreeing a way forward. They were relieved and happy
Reflection
I asked the girls whether anything I had done had been helpful. All three commented that by giving them space to connect with their feelings and needs they had been able to prioritise what was important. This minimised focus on the fighting and increased focus on the importance of friendship. This was a perfect example of the Dialogue Road Map’s belief in self efficacy.
Names have been changed.
Reflection
I asked the girls whether anything I had done had been helpful. All three commented that by giving them space to connect with their feelings and needs they had been able to prioritise what was important. This minimised focus on the fighting and increased focus on the importance of friendship. This was a perfect example of the Dialogue Road Map’s belief in self efficacy.
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