Maria Arpa
This week
Hidden Judgements
Plus…
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
and
The Wednesday Whisper
How people react to us.
When I am in the role of facilitator, it opens curiosity in me when I see how a group reacts to specific individuals. For example, when some people speak we can sense the metaphoric eyes rolling up to the ceiling. When others speak we can feel the respect for their contribution even if the content is weak. So much so that some people are never heard no matter how important their content is. This can lead to a pressure cooker inside the community.
Observing these interactions and seeing the patterns without judgement is a useful part of understanding the dynamics.
In one group a participant was sharing vulnerability and seeking forgiveness for anything they had done to upset others. It was very moving as they held up a mirror to themselves on some of the ways they had communicated. The participant then made another request, “Is there a label on my forehead that you can all see but I can’t? I really would like to know”
These are the judgments and labels we bestow on others that colour how we communicate with them. And colour the way they respond.
Maria’s Mindfulness Moment
I have often been told I am scary. People who find me scary communicate with me very differently than those who have truly ‘met’ me. Bringing compassion into my language helps me to appear less scary.
The Wednesday Whisper
Do you have a label on your forehead? Have you put one on someone else?
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