Maria Arpa
Ali
After Ali had spent some time using the DRM at home with his children, he reported the following story.
His 7 year old son, Hasan, had become used to his father speaking to him in the language of feelings and needs. Hasan had a list of feelings and needs on a small poster on his bedroom wall and they often referred to it as a way of understanding each other.
Ali decided to try it because his son’s school report indicated that although Hasan was a very capable student with good grades, he was having emotional outbursts which were disruptive.
One day Hasan came home from school and showed his dad a sheet of Emoticons he had been given at school by the teacher to express emotions. There were various smiley or angry faces but no words.
The next day, Ali wanted to talk to Hasan about something important but noticed the Feelings and Needs poster had gone from Hasan’s wall. When Hasan came home from school, Ali asked him where the poster had gone. “I took it to school” said Hasan. “Why did you do that?” said Ali. “To show it to my friends so we can use the words on it”
The next school report showed once again that Hasan’s grades were excellent but also said that Hasan was now expressing himself without having outbursts.
Names have been changed.
Reflection
Children are very receptive to the Dialogue Road Map. They love the sense of connection it brings to their parents and how it helps to resolve issues with fairness and respect. When Ali changed the way he had discussions with his son using a more compassionate approach, Hasan was able to express himself in
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