Maria Arpa
This week
How not to take it personally
Plus…
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
and
The Wednesday Whisper
How dark shall we get?
Taking things personally is a sign of insecurity that indicates an inability to learn and move on. Living in this state is self destructive and draining because we spend time ruminating on what has happened, and stuck telling ourselves we have been offended, betrayed, abused or neglected because someone else has done something to us. At the heart of this is a form of narcissism that puts oneself at the centre of every situation instead of understanding things from other points of view. This usually relates to unhealed wounds from the past which are being stimulated in the present.
How you choose to interpret what other people say or do is how you will experience the world. Symptoms of taking things personally may include:
- Holding grudges
- Inability to move on
- Getting upset and defensive in the face of criticism
- Only interpreting incidents and conversations from how they relate to you
- Holding negative thoughts about people who disagree with you
In more acute cases you may even strategise to prevent others from hurting you by buying friendship, being overly giving therefore creating ‘indebtedness’.
In the end, the person you hurt most is yourself by keeping yourself in pain. Sometimes, I see people living in such a state as a type of addiction and cycle.
The best way to release ourself is to practice self love. Self love is a form of acceptance for who I am which holds all parts of me as lovable. It is a practice which involves resisting the temptation to stay in the old patterns by practising empathy and connection for myself and the world I live in. From here I can recognise where I need healing and choose the path I want to take.
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
The DRM shows us how to practice self love. It shows us that how we talk to ourself has an enormous part to play in how we live our life. The DRM takes us to the core of the stories we tell ourselves and gives us a new practice for love, connection and peace before we decide on a strategy for change.
The Wednesday Whisper
Do you take things personally? Is it different according to what is being said? How much do you love yourself?
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