Maria Arpa
Rob was an electrician working as a contractor on building sites. He had plenty of work and was often in demand. However, he noticed that quite often he would get into arguments with the site foreman and end up walking of a job without getting the final payment.
Rob wanted to volunteer in the community and came on one of our volunteer trainings. During the training we ask participants to think of a current conflict they are in. We don’t ask anyone to share the conflict but to keep it in mind.
Over the course of the training we got to know Rob. He had a booming voice which could be misread as aggressive. He said that the training had given him some ideas and he left happy.
Two weeks later he turned up at a volunteers meeting and told us his story. He said that he had been in conflict with site foreman who, on presentation of his invoice, had refused to pay part of it. Rob said that normally he would have demanded his money in a threatening way.
On this occasion, having just completed the training, he decided to use the Dialogue Road Map and listen to the site foreman’s complaint without judging himself or the foreman. He found the foreman’s attitude completely changed and his invoice was paid straight away. Rob was amazed.
Names have been changed.
Reflections
When people complain, there is a real opportunity to make a connection that overcomes the dispute. It requires us to eliminate judgement and blame and understand the implicit request for mutuality.
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