Are you struggling with parenting and divorce issues?

Here are some hard truths about parenting during divorce:

• Mixing child contact and child support is not advisable. Child support is not a weapon. Children need a relationship with both parents unless there is a court mandated child protection issue that prohibits it. Child contact is a separate issue to child support.
• If the situation is hostile, think about drop offs and pickups. Plan for the smoothest transition you can manage. Your children are deeply affected by these meetings.
• Even adult children are affected by their parents’ divorce.
• Manipulating your children to prefer you to their other parent is called parental alienation. Family courts can and will step in when a child’s welfare suffers as a result. There’s a presumption that it’s in a child’s best interest to have a positive relationship with both their parents.

Your work:

• Every minute you spend with your children is an opportunity to build a loving, compassionate, and secure relationship with them. Don’t squander it by bad mouthing others.
• Keep a stable home environment as much as is within your power to do so.
• Listen and empathise with their needs. If you are not in a state to do this, try to find a responsible family member they can talk to who will just be loving and compassionate.
• Protect your child from the details of the negotiations.
• Learn about parenting, divorce and change as if you were trying to get a Master’s degree.
• Never argue with your ex in front of the children. These arguments can escalate into police being called.
• Create a safe environment for drop offs and pickups.
• Remember that no feelings are permanent. There will be a time when things settle down.