Maria Arpa
This week
Finding the light where there is darkness
Plus…
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
and
The Wednesday Whisper
Being mindful of our shadow
Before I jump into this week’s blog, I just want to remind you to register here for my Webinar, ‘Empathy in Action – exercising the heart’.
Embracing and acknowledging our own shadow is so difficult that few do it, yet we’re really good at naming and shaming undesirable shadow characteristics in others. We’ve reached a point in society where we have become addicted to doing it. Calling people out on Social Media, reality TV programmes and gossip columns has become the norm.
During this year of Covid, Brexit and the US elections, never have people been so divided and so quick to judge and criticize.
However, when confronted with an unpleasant truth that we are not yet ready to face, our psyche takes steps to protect us from the fear, guilt and shame we think will cripple us so it buries the evidence deep within our unconscious. It doesn’t go away. It’s just stored so you can’t see it and it will leak out in ways that that others can see even if we can’t:
- Judging others harshly
- Pointing out other people’s flaws in cruel ways
- Being quick to anger
- Taking a victim position in life in general
- Stepping on other people for own gain
- Faking enlightenment
- Believing ourselves to be specially deserving
- Inability to be ‘wrong’
- Misuse of authority
Others will see these traits. If we’re really lucky they will compassionately provide us with a golden opportunity to shine a light on our shadow. If we’re not so lucky we will be called out in the harshest of ways. Just be clear, it is not another person’s work to sort out our shadow. It is however, another person’s right to let us know that what we are doing is impacting them.
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
It’s taken years for me to embrace my shadow. It’s part of me that is fierce and forgets to temper it with compassion. I know it’s there yet it’s no threat and I am not ashamed of it. I just remind myself that I am not that. And I let people know that I am open to having it pointed out.
The Wednesday Whisper
What are the worst traits of your shadow? Who has pointed it out to you? How have you received the information?
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