In the midst of conflict

Maria Arpa

30 March 2022

This week

In the midst of conflict

Plus…

Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness

and

The Wednesday Whisper

This, too, will pass

I was reading an account of a woman who boarded a plane and having saved up for a long time she took her seat in Business class. Apparently she was unkempt and smelly so the man next to her made a complaint that the woman should be moved. The whole thing escalated and the story had a moving ending but what touched me was that while she was in the midst of humiliation and degradation directed towards her, she sat quietly and said to herself, ‘this, too, will pass’.

There is so much in the simplicity of reminding ourselves that nothing is permanent, situations change and things pass.

Learning to determine what will pass and is therefore not worth the struggle, attachment or escalation, and what will lead to an unsustainable change that requires immediate attention and effort is one way to find mastery of life.

The DRM helps us to discern the difference and supports us to communicate our intentions in ways that are more likely to be heard.

Maria’s Mindfulness Moment

This phrase stimulated me to think of the changing scenery of my life and reflect on the situations where looking back, I could have sat back, if I had been able to focus on that phrase in the midst of the tensions. Also, to celebrate when choosing the situations to respond to strongly was the right thing to do.

The Wednesday Whisper

What in your life, will pass too?

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2 Comments

AN Other
Posted 3 years ago Reply

I lived in Russia for many years and this attitude of ‘This too, will pass’ is part of everyday life; at some point, you want to shake them up and say, ‘No, it will NOT pass, unless you do something to change it!’
The Ukrainians are proving this right now.
I agree with your thought for today, most of the time, but there is a staggering amount of acceptance for not acceptable situations, if you teach this.
Your woman on the plane, should not have allowed herself to be humiliated, but at the same time, she could also have had some thought for her fellow passengers and arrived clean and kept her luggage tidilyA in the spaces provided; when travelling on shared transport, whether a public bus or business class on an aeroplane, you DO have to be aware that you will be sharing your space with others.
- Maria Arpa
  Posted 3 years ago Reply
  
  Thank you for your response.
  There are several important messages in your reply.
  
  The first is the importance of discerning when to lay back and when to protest. And understanding our reasons.
  
  The second is, in choosing to protest, how to protest in ways that are more likely to be heard.
  
  The third is our shared responsibility for how we participate in society and how we react or respond when I or others do not conform to social norms that are designed to create ease and comfort.
  
  All of these points will benefit from choosing the right form of communication at the right time.
  
  The Dialogue Road Map helps us develop the skills and the how to.